On The Subject of Crazy Scientists
by Esherymack
Summary: Crack!fic. Cross woke up feeling funny one morning... and it really all comes down to Komui and boobs. Warning, bad writing ahead. To be continued, may eventually turn into a small romance, but we all know I suck at romance. So no promises. Rating subject to change.


A/N: omg I just felt the URGE to write this XD I was contemplating on what would happen if Cross fell victim to one of Komui's many experiments, which turned him into a woman… I have never really seen a femCross on here, anyways XD 'TIS TIME TO BREAK THIS WALL DOWN, LADIES AND GENTS. Our pretty little fourth wall might be broken. I doubt it though XD

Oh, in case you were wondering, I'm in my ultimate bomb-shelter to protect myself from the barrage of hatred from A Year, which I am currently updating and will draw even more hatred :D So I'm feeling even more comfortable knowing that I can write whatever I want and NOBODY CAN TOUCH ME :D Oh, yeah, The Fourteenth advised me to get assistance from the Noah people to help protect myself, so now Rhode and Tyki are bound, gagged, and taped to the door. Can't get me now, suckahs XD

(totally kidding i love you all dearly .)

Disclamier: D. Gray-man belongs to Katsura Hoshino. Cross was not originally a woman. XD

* * *

In the undeniable peace before every morning truly started was what Cross usually woke up to. He enjoyed the crisp, clean air and absolute silence found in the great halls of the Black Order every morning, before all of the insanity set in.

This particular morning, Cross woke up feeling rather strange, honestly. In fact, one could even say he felt _delicate. _Like a woman.

_Pfffsh. That's funny. Me. Delicate. Like a woman._

So, Cross set to his in-the-morning-before-crazy-people-wake-up chores. Brush hair, drink a glass of scotch, grab Tim, stalk around in his sleepwear for two and a half hours, and then go get dressed and eat breakfast. In the early morning, there was always about two Finders sitting around in the hallway, and occasionally an exorcist that had returned in the middle of the night. This morning, he was surprised to find Komui sitting almost expectantly outside of his room, and gave the man a narrow glare when he caught the Supervisor staring at him happily. Komui looked away quickly, obviously trying to hide something.

_Note to self, Komui is gay now._

In fact, it wasn't until he received similar gawks from other members of the Order that he became really concerned. _What, did I forget to put pants on or something? _

A quick downward check confirmed that he had indeed put pants on. But it also made something else glaringly apparent. Cross spun on his heel and found Komui. The Supervisor obviously saw the new rage on Cross's face, and he tried to make a break for it. Cross was faster and stronger, even as a woman, so he managed to catch his supervisor easily.

Komui whimpered when Cross grabbed his collar and threw him back onto his bench. "Care to tell me why I have _boobs?" _Cross snarled. The Chinese man snickered. "What!?"

"You said boobs," Komui gasped, falling over onto his side, laughing.

Cross mentally kicked himself. "Well what did you expect me to call them?" This time, he noticed how quite a lot had changed. He couldn't quite help but admire whatever Komui had made that had actually fully made him into a woman. His voice was higher, he had boobs, and more than likely was missing some certain _parts,_ all of which suddenly seemed… overwhelming?

_Did… whatever he do… change my mentality too? _He thought, rage flooding his veins. He wanted nothing more than to suffocate Komui with the chief's own coat. He reluctantly dropped his gaze from the smaller, still-laughing-hysterically man.

"How long is this going to last?"

Komui managed to calm down enough to shrug, adjusting his glasses. "Dunno. Could be a day. Could be a year. That's why I was _testing _it in the first place. On the upside, at least it won't be terribly weird for you. I mean, the potion was designed to make you change from male to female in as many ways possible."

"Wait. Potion. How the _hell _did you get potion into me without me knowing?"

"I put it in your dinner last night."

Cross almost fell over. "Are you _serious? _There's no _possible _way to reverse this except wait it out?"

"Yeah, basically."

"Komui."

"Yes, Cross?"

"I swear to God… I'm going to murder you."

"I won't let you find me~" Komui singsonged, and Cross smacked himself (_herself?) _in the forehead.

_Yup,_ he (_she?)_ deduced. _This is definitely an insane Order._

* * *

A/N: So, continue I shall. Talk like Yoda, I shall. Review, you shall, for how I did on this, I know not. Never before have I written a fem!anycharacter thing.


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